Friday, February 17, 2012

I'm not depressed, I'm homesick.

What better way to follow up an emotional purge of my belongings than to watch a movie set in my new home country? A country that I don't know when I can return to. The country where my love and new husband is living, waiting for me.

 Wait, did I say better? I meant (probably) worse. I had been feeling strange lately and I thought it was just because I have been going through all my things from the last umptyzillion years but it only took one 10 saecond view of the Duomo in Florence during the movie Under the Tuscan Sun for me to realize what was wrong.

The second I saw the Duomo I reacted. I couldn't heart started to pound in my eyes felt hot...and suddenly I was crying. Something I never do. OK, something I rarely do.

I watched the rest of the movie, cried, stopped breathing every 5 minutes and realized that I am so homesick for Florence that I really don't know what to do. Seeing Italy and hearing Italian makes me sad (so very sad). But at the same time it is such a comfort to me to hear Italian spoken and to see the cities and countryside of Italy.

So you tell me, people. What do I do? Treat any movie with any references to Italy like poison and avoid them? (because I'm stuck here for the foreseeable future) OR look for every Italian movie I can find and invest in several boxes of Puffs? (because Italy is where my heart is and I don't want to forget how much I need to be there)


  1. I think maybe connecting to Italy as much as possible -- through movies, books, culture, food, whatever -- might actually be helpful! I bet after a while it will be less painful and will help you feel connected to your new home. Maybe? You can make me some food if you want to!

  2. I think you're right Wendi. I have to keep Italy in front of me all the time. I talk to Leif every other day and that helps too. I have been a guest (even if it's in my childhood home)for two months now. It's hard enough to travel in strange places for extended periods but visiting a place where you grew up is harder. I'm not the same person I was when I was 10 or 18, but I find myself slipping into that role because of where I am. It's hard. But it's temporary. I'll live. Thanks!

    I would totally cook for you sometime.

  3. On the other hand, having a childhood home complete with loving parents who would go to the earth's ends for us is a privilege. There are plenty of people our age who would give the world for what we have. Isn't it nice to know you still have a safety net?
    Love you, Lisa

  4. Italy, Florence and me are always ready for you my love!